High! Hi! By!

Dear Frankie,

I think I need help. I started a new job a few months ago, and I've been going to work stoned every day. I was even high at the interview. Now I'm thinking about quitting weed, but I'm afraid that when I'm sober everyone will think I'm high because I'll be acting just a liiiiittle bit different. I'm thinking to avoid any issues at work that I should just smoke weed at work and not at home.

Can I still be considered sober if I only get high at work?

Sincerely,

High at Work

Dear High,

Hi!

If your job sucks so bad that you feel you can't be sober around your coworkers, then you should find a new job. I never do anything that I can't do without catnip. Which is why I spend my whole day napping and eating and playing. It makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with you humans. Seriously. You fuckers just create problem after problem when all ya should need to be happy is some hardcore napping and tasty greens and a little playtime. So, yeah - get a new job and get some 'nip for your cat so at least your cat can enjoy life.

You can't be considered sober if ya get high at work. But, do whatever you want. That is the way of the cat. I say get a new job and quit smoking weed before the next job interview. That way when you start smoking weed again and they're like, "Are you high?" You can say, "Yeah." instead of, "No. I'm actually sober. I've been coming to work wasted every day for 8 months."